B. Makowsky Monica Shoulder Bag
Lately I’ve been carrying around a B. Makowsky purse almost exclusively, mostly due to the fact that I’ve been too lazy to replace it with anything (says the extreme purse-aholic). If there’s one brand I don’t mind being so attached to, though, it’s this one – B. Makowsky always pulls off its looks with such grace. The Monica Shoulder Bag has the usual buttery soft leather and basic detailing, with the wide outer pocket as a great finishing touch. It’s perfect for holding the items you normally find yourself digging for when you’re pressed for time. Available for $248 at Nordstrom.
Juicy Couture Madame Daydreamer Clutch
In the mood for love? Channel a little sweetness and light with this Juicy Couture Madame Daydreamer Clutch in your grasp. With a large, floppy bow stealing the show, it’s easy to miss the fact that the fabric behind is a vivid red animal print. It’s a bit unusual, kind of quirky, joyous, and youthful. Available for $128 at Nordstrom.
Large Fabric Bag by Diesel
If you’re looking for a light and lovely purse for spring, look no further. The Large Fabric Bag by Diesel is a nice transition to the next season, with a soft flowery design that almost looks like a watercolor painting. The light blue and green fabric bag is centered with a closing strap that carries the Diesel logo. You can get this simple shoulder bag from Yoox for a mere $102.
Ralph Lauren Collection Mini Suede Shoulder Bag
Spring 2012 is poised to be the season of color – think bright, uplifting, completely fearless hues. For everything from lipstick to handbags, color is the ultimate star of spring’s glorious fashion show. Naturally, something like this Ralph Lauren Collection Mini Suede Shoulder Bag has a strong impact on any look, whether something shockingly patterned for contrast or something understated and safe. Either way, use this to inject some pep into the whole mix – it will instantly liven things up. Available for $795 at Net-a-Porter.
Burberry Leather Tote
When is a tote not just a tote? When it’s designed by Burberry: long and lean, handsome yet feminine, boosted by the presence of pristine leather that does a fine job standing out all on its own. Take the label’s Leather Tote, which just seems like miles and miles of tan, not a bit of hardware in sight. Consider the perfectly rounded handles, the hefty size, the fact that it was practically made for on-the-go gals who tend to carry the world on their shoulders (Burberry knows me so well). It also features a lean, detachable strap to make life even easier. How’s that for not-just-a-tote? Available for $1295 at Net-a-Porter.
RED Valentino Full Grain Calfskin Shoulder Bag
Playful as ever, RED Valentino doesn’t fail to impress with its Full Grain Calfskin Shoulder Bag. Primarily neutral, it’s punctured by a slew of polka dots that showcase a flirty pink backdrop and finished with a striking gold-tone chain strap for a touch of elegance. Even without the hardware, this bag would be hard to ignore thanks to its charming, vintage-inspired appearance. Available for $495 at Nordstrom.
Christian Louboutin brings my favorite python finish to handbags
Over on TalkShoes, I’ve mentioned several times that the paint-splattered natural python seen on several of Christian Louboutin‘s Spring 2012 shoes is my favorite exotic finish that the footwear master has ever done and one of my favorite python finishes ever, from anyone. The little splashes of color add just the right amount of signature Louboutin wit to the skin without obscuring its natural beauty, and I’ve been in love with it ever since I saw Blake Lively wearing a pair of the shoes at the Louboutin 20th anniversary party at Barneys a few months ago. Thankfully, Louboutin has seen fit to bring the material to handabgs with the Christian Louboutin Sweet Charity Python Shoulder Bag. Still, though, something’s a little off.
We’ve spoken at length about some of the speed bumps that Louboutin has found in handbag design; he’s the undisputed king of shoes, but being good at one type of accessory doesn’t always lead to success when it comes to designing others. I still love the python finish that makes up most of this bag, and the Sweet Charity has long been my favorite of Louboutin’s handbag shapes, but I seriously question the trim that steals a large portion of the bag’s visual interest away from the python.
The thing that I loved about the shoes in this paint-speckled snakeskin was that they were simple; the visual texture was allowed to speak for itself without other voices trying to drown it out. With thick turquoise and red leather also vying for attention, it feels like Louboutin should have gone one of two ways: Either totally amped up the design by using the added texture of suede instead of boring regular leather, or toned the whole thing down to just snakeskin. As it is, the design is missing a little bit of something that’s hard to describe. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $2495.
RHOA: “I doubt very seriously that Emily Post has a chapter in her book about aggravated assault.”
As the Fug Girls so eloquently put it on Twitter last night, all of the crazy that was missing from the SAG Awards ceremony fortunately found it to the new episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. For as much as this season has been boring so far, last night really brought the drama. Marlo didn’t cut anyone, but I think she was pretty close.
The episode consisted mainly of our ladies’ first day in South Africa, although other than a few minutes on the deck of a yacht, they spent the entire time inside cars, boats, hotel suits and the Cape Town airport, fussing at each other about god knows what. One day down, nine more days of international vacation to go. Hopefully this will be the only argument they have through the side of a staircase.
The show opened on the plane to South Africa with Cynthia manning the camera in First Class, filming mostly herself and the inside of her own nose and a little bit of the other cast members during the 16-hour flight. The most interesting part of the entire opening sequence was the comparison between Nene’s eyebrows because she forgot to “take one off.” I know she meant taking off the brow pencil, but I couldn’t get the image of Nene peeling a fake eyebrow off her face out of my mind.
Once the plane landed, hilarity ensued as Marlo and Nene demonstrated their complete inability to move their dozen pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage (apiece) around the airport. It took about a hundred times longer than it should have to get to the group out to the van to go to the hotel, and once inside the van, Marlo took it upon herself to literally quiz the other housewives on random, completely made up rules of etiquette. She didn’t shut up for the entire drive, and any hopes that we had that she might shut up once they arrived at the hotel were quickly dashed.
The accommodations in Cape Town consisted of two utterly beautiful hotel suits with amazing views of the city below, which momentarily rendered everyone unable to complain about things. Marlo snapped back to her normal self pretty quickly though, requesting that the concierge provide her with the names of all the maids that would service her hotel room and that she be called immediately if one of them were to leave work early, go home sick, or otherwise break their schedule. Marlo, with the lengthy criminal record (for fraud, among other things), is afraid that a blue collar hotel worker is going to steal her (probably) fake Birkin. How quickly some people forget their own pasts after a rich dude buys them some handbags and rents them a cheap townhouse.
The next morning, the entire group got together for breakfast before a day in Cape Town, at which point Phaedra distributed a small gift for the ladies on the trip – an engraved compact mirror to commemorate the jaunt to Africa. Marlo groused about not getting one for a moment, apparently forgetting that Nene spontaneously invited her and didn’t warn anyone until she showed up at the airport, at which point it was too late to engrave another mirror. The TSA won’t let you bring that type of stuff on the plane, after all. Once Marlo got up to go get dressed, it appeared as though the tag was still attached to her robe, which tells you all that you need to know about Marlo all by itself. She returned that shit to Neiman Marcus when she got home and you know it. Cynthia may have thrown some shade on Phaedra’s robe, but at least it was hers free and clear.
While everyone was still at the table, Sheree announced a dinner party at her friend Kevin’s house for later in the trip. In typically petty Sheree fashion, she only invited the other Smalls, even though she announced it to the entire group and only inviting half the people to dinner on a group vacation is an objectively immature and rude thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, Sheree is not an entirely innocent party in the fight that will erupt over this topic later. At breakfast, though, the Talls generally took the information in stride and Cynthia promised to book dinner for their half of the group at Nobu that evening. Nobu, of course. That great bastion of South African authenticity. Can’t get it anywhere else in the world! Oh, wait…
Back in the states, Kim’s parents came over to see the baby and make a big family lunch since Kroy was away at training camp. While fixing meatballs, Kim’s Awkward Dad made a speech about how he thinks that Kroy is The One, forever cementing his spot as the most dad-like dad to ever appear on reality television. Despite that (or maybe because of it), I can’t help but find him kind of lovable. Kim’s an imperfect human being, but she clearly has a strong relationship with her family and she definitely spends more time with her kids than perhaps any other cast member on any of the Real Housewives shows. I’m going to gloss over the part where Kim encouraged her mother to take her top off, mostly because I prefer to believe it didn’t actually happen.
In South Africa, the next thing on the list was a yacht trip, which involved a few awkward minutes above deck wherein Marlo schooled everyone else on the proper and acceptable ways to get up while wearing a skirt and riding on a boat. Marlo’s Etiquette School seemed like it would be in session for the rest of the trip, so let me just go ahead and say this now: It’s fascinating to watch someone who’s been cuffed and thrown in the back of a police cruiser at least SEVEN DISTINCT TIMES tell everyone else how to act. Marlo is in possession of what can only be described as a downright impressive amount of selective memory.
Once the group went below board (for reasons that weren’t exactly clear), things got slightly contentious. Marlo claimed that she had seen Kandi at the mall (Lenox or Phipps? She didn’t say.) and Kandi had been a bit brusque with her, although I’m not sure what level of cordialness is required when some famewhoring Professional Girlfriend with a criminal record that just got cast to play a villain on your reality show comes running at you in the mall with her hand in the air. Kandi doesn’t do a great job hiding it when she’s irritated, so even if she was a little short with Marlo (I don’t entirely believe that she was, but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt), I’m not sure anything additional was required.
Nene then took the opportunity to grill Phaedra about whether or not they had existing beef that needed to be cleared, which Phaedra denied. At this point in the episode, I realized that other than Nene and Kim, I can no longer remember why any of the cast members dislike each other. I know that no one likes Nene except Cynthia and Marlo, but none of the reasoning has stuck with me at all. Kandi let it slip recently that a lot of the cast is going to be changed before next season films, and I think that’s exactly what needs to happen. These women have fought and been friends in all possible combinations by now, and we’ve reached the point at which it’s impossible to care about it anymore. I’m at the same level of disinterest with Real Housewives of Orange County.
After the boat docked, the entire group headed back to the hotel to get ready for the evening’s separate gatherings. The Smalls were all getting ready together when Cynthia, the lone tolerable Tall, came knocking at the door to inquire about the plans for the evening and officially extend the invite for everyone to come to Nobu. The Smalls declined, but Sheree decided to spontaneously invite Cynthia to join the dinner party that evening, a decision she would live to regret. As soon as the offer had escaped her lips, Cynthia went sprinting back to the other suite to tattle to Nene and Marlo that it was just THEM who hadn’t been invited, because this is middle school and those kind of things need to be immediately repeated to every remotely interested party. If Cynthia ever needs any proof about why people say she sucks up to Nene, Bravo need only replay that thirty seconds of film for her. Nene, to her credit, seemed to genuinely not care about the invitation or lack thereof, probably because she’s used to these kinds of petty non-invitations at this point in her tenure as a Real Housewife. This is child’s play to someone who’s been party to a wig-tugging.
Marlo, on the other hand, was not having it. Not having it one bit. Naturally, the mature thing to do was stomp over to the other suite and pick a fight with Sheree, which is exactly what Marlo did. When pressed, Shenee extended the invite to Marlo as well, but Marlo didn’t seem satisfied with that. Sheree eventually admitted that she didn’t want Nene or Marlo to come and merely hadn’t invited Cynthia because she’s kisses Nene’s ass constantly, which is a reality that should be obvious to anyone in the cast with an ounce of self-awareness, even if Sheree was a tad petty about it. (And again, to Nene’s credit, she seemed to get it and not be particularly offended.)
Marlo’s enormously fragile ego couldn’t take the stress, though, so she blew a verbal gasket and starting hollering about blow-up mattresses and Sheree’s sad, lonely Rolex and the six-letter F word, which she actually said out loud for reasons that were not at all clear. Tsk tsk, Marlo. Your low breeding is showing, and no number of sugar daddy Aston Martins can cover that up for very long. Speaking of which, you’ll notice that when Marlo was yelling about Sheree’s repossessed car, she was bragging that her car was paid for in cash, not that SHE paid for the car in cash. Even when pressed on who ponied up the money, Marlo simply stuck with that sentence – it was paid for. It takes new and interesting levels of delusion to have a straight face while bragging about your ability to accept gifts.
Marlo also didn’t deny that the money came from an elderly rich dude who may or may not have been white, and the only thing she insisted we all know is that he was a billionaire, not a millionaire. If there’s anything dumber than bragging about the bank account of an old man you used to bang for gifts but who didn’t want you around enough to put a ring on it and put you in the will, then I certainly can’t think of what it is. Now Marlo’s with a football player who’s sloppy seconds from one of the OTHER Real Housewives, so I’m not sure why she’s ragging on Sheree, who was married to a football player for quite a while. Oh, right, because Sheree hangs out with too many “f****ts” to find a new man, as if the ultimate test of womanhood is how hard you’re out there hoing. For someone who’s reticent to reveal the details of her own financial situation when asked, Marlo sure is interested in counting everyone else’s money.
Let’s all hope that Marlo gets fed to a lion before everyone boards the plane back home. A woman who can make Miss Nene Leakes step in to a conflict and try to make peace while cameras are rolling is an extraordinary woman indeed, but not in a way that’s at all admirable or even vaguely positive. When you’re making Nene look sane and reasonable, you need to stop what you’re doing and immediately reevaluate every life decision you made up to that point. Marlo should probably start with this mugshot hair styles.
Take a break from brights with Rochas’ ladylike minimalism
Even for someone like me who loves all manner of embellishment when it comes to accessories, the endless parade of brights and neons and rhinestones and patterns and fur and feathers and god knows what else can get a little…tiring. It’s like I have fancy fatigue. Amid the cacophonous roar of Spring 2012′s many trends, it’s nice to occasionally get a little bit of a palate cleanser before heading back to maximalism. Today, that palate (palette?) cleanser comes courtesy of Rochas.
Rochas isn’t much of a player in the accessories market, but the French brand’s handbag profile is steadily rising with increased availability at stores like Neiman Marcus and Saks. For some reason, perhaps because spring’s rococo lushness is just now hitting stores, the Rochas Colorblock Leather Tote and Rochas Scalloped Leather Handbag are hitting me just the right way. It takes a certain amount of confidence to make a dove grey and ivory bag and call it “colorblocked” this season when that term usually refers to some combination of neon and cobalt.
But that’s exactly what these designs are – confident, restrained, endlessly elegant. They’re made for people who prefer to be a bit demure instead of all-out flashy. That may not usually be me, but in a season so endlessly filled with stuff, it’s nice to be reminded of the other side of the coin from time to time.
Rochas Scalloped Leather Handbag, $1585 via Neiman Marcus
Rochas Colorblock Leather Tote, $1465 via Neiman Marcus
Man Bag Monday: Louis Vuitton Fall 2012 Men’s Accessories, straight from the runway
It’s my most favorite Man Bag Monday of the season, you guys! As far as big handbag brands go, Louis Vuitton is without question the line that gives the most amount of love to its male customers instead of just focusing on us ladies. Not only does Vuitton do a full runway show of menswear in Paris during Men’s Fashion Week every season, but the clothes area always accompanies by a litany of utterly gorgeous manbags.
Some seasons the designs skew more feminine than others and seem as though they might actually be intended to be carried by women and they gay men who are seriously jealous of our accessories. Louis Vuitton Fall 2012, on the other hand, was full of bags that almost anyone could appreciate – gay men both feminine and masculine, straight dudes, ladies. The color palette was one of neutral tans and greyed-out navys, with hardware and embellishment kept to a minimum. Something tells me this collection is going to sell quite briskly once it hits stores in late summer. Check out more pictures after the jump.
