Versace Two-Tone Eyelet-Studded Leather Shoulder Bag: Happily Never After

Picture this twisted fairy tale: if Little Bo Peep ditched her sheep and became a porn star, this would be her bag. There’s something at once vulgar and childish about this pink purse.

Considering how streamlined and polished Versace’s ready-to-wear has been at Donatella’s helm, it just doesn’t make sense to keep making bags like this. The clothes are so right (the right mix of shock and allure), but everything is wrong about this two-tone eyelet bag. The shape and color scheme: not so different from those of Disney princess costumes. The grommets look oddly out of place on such a sweet confection, and let’s not even get into the Medusa-like tassel.

I’d keep my mouth shut if it cost $40 (as in a Disney gift-shop price), but at almost two grand I must point out the obvious. Sleeping Beauty might approve, but call me the evil queen – I just can’t condone this one. On Net-a-Porter for $1,895.